


we were never meant to be but together

by androgenius



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, First Time, Humor, Love Hotels, M/M, Mutual Pining, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 05:33:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29587983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/androgenius/pseuds/androgenius
Summary: Dimilix Week Day 6 - PiningWhen Felix accompanies Dimitri on a trip, the only hotels still available just so happen to be love hotels.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 6
Kudos: 76
Collections: 2021 Dimilix Week





	we were never meant to be but together

"Your dad booked us a room, right?"

A quick glance out of their taxi reminds Dimitri precisely why Felix is asking. The streets are packed from several conventions, a convergence of tourism having filled up most of the hotels in the area-- according to the news, at any rate. The on-board television in front of them, built into the seats separating them from the cab driver, seems to be remarking on much the same. 

"Yes, although he did remark on the fact that it was evidently quite tricky on such short notice."

They're not here for any of the conventions, but rather for a matter of international diplomacy. Dimitri has a state dinner to attend tomorrow evening alongside several other events throughout the coming week, and Felix… 

Felix is also here. Despite his protests.

His presence is something Dimitri hadn't counted on in the least, and so it was a downright pleasant surprise when Felix decided, against all odds, to join him as his father had initially asked him to.

"I don't see why I needed to come with you in the first place. It's not as though you need a handler."

"I appreciate the vote of confidence, Felix."

He scoffs. "Not my intention."

"Even so, I do enjoy your company. I realize that this may be rather one-sided on my part, but I was quite glad when you agreed to accompany me."

"Yeah, well," Felix starts, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he turns to glare out the window at the traffic there, almost unmoving. "Don't get any big ideas. There's no need to flatter yourself just because I decided to let my father pay for a first-class international flight."

"Mm." It's a rather crude way to phrase his father's generosity, but Felix has always been prickly when it comes to Rodrigue, and so he doesn't remark on it, instead watching the traffic pass them by as they finally manage to make it past the chokepoint keeping them stuck. 

The hotel they arrive at shortly after is nondescript enough, so much so that Felix scoffs upon seeing its concrete exterior. It doesn't much help that the light-up sign featuring the hotel's name is a bright, neon pink, something Dimitri can only imagine lends itself to further mockery on Felix's part.

"The hotels really must be packed," he says as Dimitri opens the door, "for your dad to think this is the sort of place to put you up."

"Perhaps he thought it would be discreet," he mutters, making his way up to the front desk. 

Well, what looks like a front desk. Frosted glass conceals everything but a small rectangular cut-out at the bottom, presumably reserved for the showing of ID and payment. 

"Good day. My father made a reservation here. It should be under the name Blaiddyd." 

Sliding his passport beneath the frosted glass, he waits, Felix roaming the bare-bones lobby behind him.

"Your father paid for a week in advance?"

"Yes." 

A beat. "For you and your… companion?"

Dimitri blinks, glancing back at Felix. "Yes? Why?"

"It's unusual, but your father paid extra to ensure that you might be able to stay for an extended period of time. Most of our guests only stay for a few hours or for one night. Check-in is normally from nine o'clock to midnight." 

Dimitri checks his watch. Eight o'clock. "My apologies for the disruption to your schedule. We can return in an hour or so?"

"Oh, it's no trouble," the woman behind the counter says, sliding two room keys under the frosted glass. Dimitri is fairly certain that it's his dad's money that made this happen, not that he's about to complain.

Thanking the receptionist, he makes his way back over to Felix, room keys in hand. "Can you believe most people only come here for a few hours or overnight? It's like an airport hotel."

"An airport hotel without a valet," Felix grumbles, grabbing hold of his suitcase's handle. 

Taking the elevator up to the top floor, it doesn't take them long to locate their room, Dimitri stopping to unlock and open it. 

The first thing that strikes him is the… color scheme. Red and black seem to dominate the-- shockingly large!-- room, several large Xs lining the wall.

"It rather looks like a gym," Dimitri says, turning back to look at Felix, still in the doorway. "Don't you think so, Felix?"

"No." Setting down his suitcase, Felix crosses his arms as he glares at the room, gaze jumping from one eye-catching thing to another. 

"You don't think so?"

"No-- I meant _no_ , we're not taking this room. I refuse."

"What?" Turning back to look at the room, the exercise equipment therein, Dimitri frowns. "I agree the color scheme is a big aggressive for a bedroom, but--"

"The bed is _in a cage_ , boar."

"It _is_ somewhat unique--"

"And this? One of the things you think is an exercise machine? Is a pillory."

The soft, breathy laugh that escapes him sounds more than a little unsure as he looks around the room again. A pillory? That… can't be right. "Is it… for medieval reenactments?"

" _No_."

Dimitri's cheeks color. Another glance around the room tells him that Felix might just be right, though Dimitri has no interest in looking too closely at that particular assessment. What could chains and cuffs be good for, other than torture? 

Following Felix out the door, Dimitri frowns, dialing his father. "I hope you realize that we might not have any other options open to us." 

Lambert picks up after two rings. "Dimitri! Did you two arrive safely?"

"We did, yes." He glances toward Felix, not entirely certain how he's supposed to communicate the issues with the room to him. "We just got to the hotel, and ah…" He clears his throat, the back of his neck burning. "There is torture equipment in it."

Silence stretches out on the other end of the line.

"Father?"

"Um-- all right. Would you like me to call around and see if any other rooms are available?"

Felix, evidently able to hear Lambert on the other end, nods vehemently. 

"... ah, yes. Apologies for this, father. We really didn't mean any trouble."

"No, no, it's no matter. I don't mind checking around to see if there are any alternate options. But if nothing else comes up, would you two mind terribly spending just one night in the… um… torture room?"

Dimitri winces. "Of course not. Please, don't trouble yourself too terribly on our account."

"I don't mind at all," Lambert answers, warm. "I love you, son."

"I love you, too, father." Smiling to himself as he ends the call, he turns back to Felix. "Father is going to call around and see what he might find for us that is still available so we might evade the torture room."

"Still weird," Felix mutters, shaking his head as he starts wheeling the suitcase down the hall. "You coming?"

"Ah, I thought… I thought we might just wait here."

"In the BDSM room." Felix stares at him, shaking his head. "No thanks."

With Felix continuing to pull his suitcase down the hall, Dimitri has no choice but to follow, stopping only to pull the door closed. 

Knowing that they might have to return here to spend the night, after all, they don't stop at the front desk, nor do they turn in their keys as they step outside into the cold chill of the outside. Even this late at night, the town is bustling with activity and general merriment. They keep walking for a while, streetlights and signs along buildings illuminating their late-night stroll for them. 

It's almost… romantic. 

"Here," Felix says, interrupting Dimitri's thoughts with a nod toward a fairly nondescript-looking building nevertheless discreetly labeled as a hotel. "Let's try this."

Dimitri doesn't resist as Felix takes his hand in his, his heart skipping a beat as he's pulled into another minimalist lobby, this one populated not with a reception desk, but with several touch screen monitors. 

Approaching one, Felix gestures for Dimitri to join him as he presses the button for the room selection. 

"You never know," he mutters. "They might have one that isn't a BDSM room…"

A quick glance through the selection has Felix frowning, brow creased. "Everything normal is booked," he mutters irritably.

"What about this one? It looks fairly normal."

"It's _completely pink_."

"The color hardly matters, now does it?"

Tapping the screen to bring up more details about the pink room reveals it to be a _Hello Kitty_ room, complete with yet more cuffs and chains, Dimitri's eyes going wide as Felix quickly exits out of the page and back to the main menu selection. 

"Boar," he mutters, face an alarming shade of red, "you're letting me choose."

It's a technique Dimitri doesn't think will work from the start. None of the rooms are deemed good enough by Felix-- Felix, who only spends a few seconds on each detail screen.

"What are these used for," Dimitri finally remarks as Felix skips past the fifth themed room in a row. "It would be rather difficult to sleep in a…" He squints, cocking his head at the screen. "Classroom."

"Boar."

"Or on a train."

" _Boar_."

"There is no great deal of logic in sleeping in a hospital room, either. I don't understand--"

"Boar!" Felix snaps, turning to look at Dimitri. "Go-- stand somewhere else. Just let me handle this on my own and stop asking embarrassing questions."

Dimitri blinks. "Embarrassing?"

Felix's glower speaks for itself, Dimitri taking a few steps away to let him continue searching for a room for them. 

It's not as though he'd particularly mind sleeping in a hospital bed, even if he were sharing the space with Felix. It's not as though they need separate beds… 

Allowing his thoughts to trail off as he keeps walking through the barebones lobby, Dimitri sighs. The only thing of note here is a vending machine that doesn't look to be selling food. Not that he's particularly hungry. It's simply odd. 

Approaching the odd contraption, Dimitri allows himself to look over the selection. It takes a moment for the true meaning of his surroundings to sink in. Condoms. Lubricant. _Toys_. 

"F-Felix," Dimitri stammers, taking a cautious step back. "I do believe this place may be--"

"What, a hotel where people come to fuck? _Yeah_."

His cheeks are burning. A great deal of things suddenly make sense-- Felix's embarrassment, his standoffish attitude, the lack of visible receptionists…

The… torture room…

"Oh," he stammers, the whole lobby-- previously comfortable and temperate-- suddenly feeling dreadfully warm. 

"There's nothing normal here," Felix says, taking a step back from the screen with a scoff. "Ridiculous." His gaze falls upon Dimitri. "Unless you want to sleep on a bed suspended from the ceiling?"

If it's possible, Dimitri's cheeks darken further. 

"That's... the closest thing to normal?"

"No, there's also a room where every surface is covered in a mirror so we can watch ourselves fuck from every angle."

For the first time that night, the implications of their hotel room selections combine with... Felix. Him and Felix. Something uncomfortable and unspeakable within him twists and churns. 

Has Felix ever thought about him? In that context? About kissing him and touching him and fu--

"Boar!" Felix says, the sound snapping Dimitri out of his brief reverie. "Your phone is ringing."

"Ah," he mutters, fumbling for it three times before managing to get it in his hand to answer. "So it is."

His father's voice on the other end is surprisingly chipper, an astonishing contrast to the vivid nature of Dimitri's daydreams a second ago. "Son, I have good news. I found a place for you and Felix. Even managed to get a refund on the other place!"

"And this one, it isn't…" _A place where people go to have carnal relations,_ his tongue refuses to articulate.

"Not a torture room, no." A beat. His father sounds downright proud of himself. "They're honestly nice rooms, Dimitri. I think you two will be pleased."

"Thank you, father."

"I'll send you the address, all right? And then I hope you two get a good night's rest. I love you."

"I love you, too." 

Hanging up, he waits for the address to come through before turning his attention to Felix. "Come on. This one isn't, ah…" He can't finish the sentence, Felix letting out a gruff noise. 

"Good enough," he says, and heads out the door.

&

Their new hotel is just as nondescript as the first, Dimitri getting the key from the reception desk before heading upstairs to their room for the next week. 

"This place doesn't look so bad," he tells Felix over his shoulder before opening the door to both of them and their luggage. 

True to his father's words, it's not a torture room. If anything, it does look fairly… standard, aside from a few key differences.

Differences that Felix decides to remark upon instantly. 

"No. This is a honeymoon suite."

Dimitri sighs. "Felix, please."

"There's a mirror on the ceiling, boar!" he says, his arms crossed tightly in front of his chest. "Not to mention that they had to have known what they were doing when they scattered _rose petals_ on the bed. Didn't your father tell them that two men would be staying here?"

Dimitri winces. "Felix… it's almost midnight. And it's as close to a normal room as we're going to find tonight, I'm afraid." 

"Hmph." Felix looks less than pleased, moving to start sweeping the petals off the bed. 

They're far from the only things in the room to seem… somewhat objectionable. A quick glance around the room reveals a few more interesting amenities. Aside from the condoms on either side of the dashboard built into the top of the bed's headboard, the many bottles of lubricant, and the handcuffs hanging on the wall, a small complimentary goodie bag appears to contain… a vibrator, Felix dumping the package out onto the headboard. 

"What do they think two men do together in bed at night," Felix mutters, his cheeks bright red. 

The bathroom isn't much better. Matching couples' bathrobes aside, an inflatable mattress seems to be set up at the center of the shower to aid couples in being intimate together should they decide to choose it in place of the large jacuzzi tub. Both are lined with little bottles of oil and lubricant, Dimitri turning around as if to block out the thoughts from his mind. 

Felix, wet and naked and--

The sound of the television turning on in the main room diverts his attention from his illicit thoughts for all of two seconds, Felix's eyes going wide as he scrambles to try and turn the television off again. 

"What the fuck!" he yells, the exclamation hardly drowning out the moaning as his fingers struggle to press the right button, inadvertently raising the volume for a heartbeat or two. Finally, the screen goes black again. "Why would they put that on the television?! What if kids were staying here!"

"Ah, Felix," Dimitri starts, trying to focus on anything other than the fierce flush on Felix's cheeks. What an odd way to be first exposed to pornography. "I don't think any children--"

" _I know_ ," he snaps, refusing to look at Dimitri. Instead, he allows himself to fall back onto the bed-- only to promptly be reminded of the mirror on the ceiling, Felix throwing his arm over his eyes. "Ugh."

The knock on the door surprises both of them, Felix glowering at it as though expecting more porn to let itself in uninvited.

"I'll get it," Dimitri mutters, taking the few steps to open the door. 

Whoever knocked, it would seem, is long gone. In their place, fresh flowers and a bucket with ice-chilled champagne sit on the floor, Dimitri lifting up the tray to bring inside.

"Did they think the flower petals on the bed wouldn't be enough?"

"I'm sure they just meant well," Dimitri mutters, feeling increasingly like he and Felix are on honeymoon. Not that they would ever-- not that _Felix_ would ever-- "Champagne?" he asks, forcibly cutting off his own thoughts. 

"Getting me drunk so you can fuck me, boar?" 

The back of Dimitri's neck burns. "Of course not." Moving to sit on the edge of what looks to be a massage chair, he plucks a pamphlet off the tray to flip through. "Apparently we can order other things, too. If you'd like to drink something non-alcoholic." 

"Ugh, give me that," he says, holding his hand out, presumably so Dimitri might give him the champagne. 

"Surely not-- not straight from the bottle," he mutters, Felix letting out another groan of annoyance at him before getting up off the bed to start searching the shelves for champagne flutes, presumably.

"If I do have to drink from the bottle, it'll be their fault for not providing any glasses," Felix says, opening various drawers and closet doors as if expecting to luck out there. 

"You might be able to request some via the touch-screen?"

Felix scoffs, getting down on his knees to open the small mini-fridge in the room. 

Instead of chilled champagne flutes, however, what greets them are yet more sex toys, a variable cornucopia of them, each one labeled with a price sticker. 

"Ah," Felix says, and shuts the fridge door. 

The touch-screen, from what Dimitri can tell, is straight-forward enough. One category for food, one for drinks, one for… outfits, and... another for porn. 

He's not sure he's ever found a single pamphlet so interesting. 

He doesn't expect the word to jump out at him, not while his thoughts linger annoyingly on Felix, but it does all the same, Dimitri feeling his ears burning. 

"Felix--"

"Who thought it was a good idea to put glasses in the bathroom," he shouts back, Dimitri refolding the pamphlet and swallowing hard as Felix returns with both of them to open their champagne. 

"Felix."

" _What_."

"This is-- that is to say-- we're in this city's…" He can't even say it. "... ah…"

"Spit it out, boar."

"... gay district."

For a long moment, Felix just stares at him, nearly causing the champagne to overflow from the glass. 

"Fuck," he says, setting the champagne back down. "Here, drink your damn champagne and let's just-- sleep."

Dimitri tries not to think about the implications, the very obvious explanation of just why no one blinked at the two of them sharing a… honeymoon suite together. 

How is he supposed to share a bed with Felix like this? If they'd looked through the porn selection, they probably could have even found gay porn. And then--

It's hard to even _think straight_ when surrounded by this much sex, Dimitri taking a sip of his champagne before getting up. "It's-- it's fine. We can just… go to bed now."

He changes in the bathroom. It's never been a big deal before, sharing a bedroom with Felix, even when they were forced to share a bed, but this is… special circumstances, surely. Unusual for them. 

So unusual, in fact, that it feels impossible not to think about what they could be doing here. Even putting on his pajamas feels borderline indecent. How long has he been half-hard?

The room is already dark by the time he comes back out of the bedroom, Felix already in bed and rolled away from him. So they're just… going to go to sleep, then. 

Dimitri isn't sure whether to be relieved or upset about it.

Getting into the bed on the other side, Dimitri tries to shift the bed as little as possible, rolling away as soon as he's able. 

"Um," he starts, quiet. "Goodnight, Felix."

He receives a grunt in response, which is more than he expected to receive, Dimitri doing his best to simply close his eyes and go to sleep. Granted, he struggles with sleep on the best of nights, but while that's normally ameliorated by Felix's presence, tonight is far less kind to him. 

His thoughts keep straying in the same direction, unrelenting. Felix, cheeks flushed and breathless-- Felix, his hand wrapped around his cock-- Felix, legs spread and wanting--

Rolling onto his back, determined to ignore his own erection, Dimitri sighs. With a few small lights in the room still on, he can just barely make out Felix's shape in the darkness. Would Felix allow Dimitri to kiss him? To… do anything? Surely he wasn't the only one who kept thinking about… them. 

But if he was and Dimitri made the mistake of telling him, the small bit of friendship still lingering between them would surely be extinguished in a heartbeat, and by Felix's hand. If he made that mistake…

His gaze falling upon the now-dark touch-screen display once more, Dimitri finds himself suddenly wishing they were in separate rooms. Perhaps they would have gay porn here, and Dimitri could find… something to watch, something featuring actors that looked a bit like them. He's never even considered the prospect before, but now the thought won't seem to leave his mind. 

Beside him, Felix shifts, his pillow readjusted to move him higher up, just slightly onto the headboard, far enough to activate the console above the bed. 

Oh.

The bed starts vibrating without warning, Dimitri yelping as Felix sits up. 

"What--"

"You-- it's the console," Dimitri says, gesturing to the display above the bed whilst simultaneously bunching up a fair amount of blanket in his lap to hide his partial erection. "I think you activated it."

"How do you know, boar?" Felix snaps, frantically trying to press buttons only for the vibrating to change, shift, slow down, become more of a deeper rumble--

"I wasn't sleeping," he explains simply. 

"And you were staring at me?" 

Felix's stare is judgmental enough that Dimitri feels himself color in the partial darkness, illuminated only by the console between them. 

"Don't be ridiculous, Felix. Your back isn't that terribly interesting."

The bed stills a second later with the correct button press, silence descending between them. 

"I'm not sleeping on this," he declares, grabbing his pillow. 

"Felix, please be reasonable, the last thing I want is for you to feel put out-- it's my fault you're on this trip in the first place, I'd hate for you to be sleeping on the floor. If one of us needs to be sleeping on the floor, it should be me."

If it's possible, Felix looks _more_ annoyed. "No one is asking you to sleep on the floor, boar. Don't be a burning martyr."

"I could simply sleep in the massage chair, if that would be more acceptable?"

"You just want to sleep in the chair because it's comfortable," Felix mutters, irritation still shading his tone every which way as he slams the pillow back into place. "Just-- ugh. Go to sleep, boar."

Dimitri stares.

Even as tired as he is, he's not sure he'll be getting any sleep at all. He just hopes the bed doesn't start vibrating again. 

&

He wakes up entangled, sleep tugging at his mind and willing him to slip back beneath the surface of consciousness. 

It's a tempting offer: the body in his arms is warm and familiar; not even the way his hair tickles his nose seems like enough to make him want to draw back. 

He smells nice, too, like coming home after a long journey. 

The creature in his arms shifts, legs rubbing up against legs, languishing in the comfort of him. It's a nice thought, Dimitri's arms tightening around him as another thing makes itself known. 

His cock twitches with interest, the shifting of the body against him a sign of its mutuality. A groan leaves him, his hips meeting each movement. He wants… Felix.

_Felix._

His eyes snap open, Dimitri's hips stilling as he swallows hard, processing his present predicament. Hard, pressed up against Felix's ass, arms wrapped around him, legs tangled. 

If Felix wakes up now… 

Extracting himself is a matter of delicacy, he realizes rather quickly. One arm is removed easily enough, Dimitri drawing it back against himself. 

The rest… is far more tricky. 

Shifting his hips back somewhat makes his dick twitch from the friction, Dimitri wincing as he tries to unsuccessfully roll away-- only to get an eyeful of the mirror on the ceiling instead. 

If he's not entirely wrong-- his eyes go wide.

Is _Felix_ hard?

It's difficult to tell like this, with the blanket concealing just enough to leave room for doubt, Dimitri forcing himself to look away a moment later. He should feel ashamed of himself for wanting to look at all.

"Felix," he hears himself say, cheeks red, swallowing hard. His cock is still pressing against his ass… and Felix will absolutely know. "You're… on top of my arm." And his legs. And pressed up against his dick. 

Beside him, still visible in the mirror, Felix's fingers twist into the sheets beneath them. 

"Is that your excuse, pervert boar?"

He shifts away, kicking at Dimitri's legs before Dimitri can so much as think of a decent apology to offer, cheeks blazing as he rolls away to sit at the edge of the bed. 

"Apologies," he mutters, willing his erection to wilt. Maybe if there wasn't so much… _suggestive paraphernalia_ scattered throughout the room, this would be easier. 

Getting his dress clothes from out of his suitcase, he disappears into the bathroom to shower. It's a wordless endeavor, Dimitri feeling no small amount of shame over the fact that he's more or less ignoring Felix now. Out of guilt for waking up… spooning him.

He takes his time in the shower, not only because it's far too early to be leaving for the state banquet now, but also because the shower-- the air mattress pushed aside to lean against a wall-- is a good place to hide from Felix right now. 

Not that he can hide forever. 

Was Felix hard? The thought has been plaguing him since he first saw the vague outline of Felix's erection. Something that could have just been a trick of the morning light or the folds of their blanket-- 

He's putting far too much thought into this. And yet… 

It changes nothing. Not when he looks down and sees his cock still treacherously hard. 

Reaching down to wrap his hand around his length, Dimitri allows his forearm to cushion his forehead against the tile, a shuddered breath leaving him at the touch alone. He doesn't… do this. Let alone while thinking of Felix. Thinking of Felix touching him--

The thought makes his cock twitch anew, Dimitri biting back a whimper as he finds himself suddenly grateful for the sound dampening of the shower's spray. _Goddess_. He's-- he's in trouble. 

He's in love with Felix. 

His hand speeds up atop his cock with a gasp, guilt flooding him anew as he thinks about Felix's hand around him, Felix shifting back against his morning wood to tease him, Felix on his knees to take him in his mouth. Goddess. Felix should never forgive him for this. 

He comes against the wall of the shower with a grunt, eyes squeezed shut as he pumps his cock for a few more strokes before the haze of his mind seems to clear. 

A moron. That's what he is. They're at a _love hotel_ , and yet Felix has done nothing to indicate that he's even remotely interested in him. If anything, he's actively spurned him, doing his best to make sure that Dimitri knows just how repulsive he finds the concept of… any of this with him. 

Even sleeping in the same bed together suddenly feels different, and no wonder. Waking up hard up against him…

He's still thinking about it. 

Is Felix?

He washes himself for a long time after that, as though willing himself to wash his inappropriate desires off. Felix would hate him if he knew, surely. Surely…

Turning off the water and stepping out of the shower, Dimitri towels off, taking a moment to let himself dry properly before pulling on his clothes for tonight. It's a process, and one that takes a fair amount of time. Too many items of clothing. Too many layers. Fastening his cufflinks and tie-clip, he decides he's probably done. Probably.

Looking at himself in the mirror, Dimitri sighs. It's still too early to be leaving for the event, but he can hardly imagine staying here. With Felix. After waking up with his erection pressed against his ass. 

Stepping out of the bathroom, he clears his throat. "I'm…" He can't even look at him. "Heading to the state dinner."

"Already."

Going to sit, he starts pulling on his shoes. "Yes." 

A moment's hesitation passes over Felix's features, gone almost as soon as it appears. "Fine. Do what you want."

He's not even looking at him anymore, and for just a moment, guilt threatens to overwhelm him. "Felix…"

" _What_."

A multitude of possibilities and paths spread out before him, each one scarier than the last. Confessing to Felix, Felix rejecting his friendship altogether-- and for good this time. A million different outcomes, and only one could possibly lead to Felix deciding that he's worth kissing, maybe. 

"Never mind," he says, and heads out the door.

&

It's late by the time he gets back to the hotel, Dimitri feeling increasingly wide awake the closer he gets to their door. He should be tired, really. It's been a long day-- first, taken up simply by loitering at the event hall, having lunch, calling his father to talk to him, and then the actual event later that evening. 

He still feels bad about leaving Felix, but, well. 

Even if he'd hoped that the time away would clear his head of the situation and allow him a better overview of his own feelings, they've only served to cement his newest discovery about himself. 

It's _impossible_ not to think about Felix, as it turns out. Even after a whole day away from him, his life is so utterly filled with him under normal circumstances that Dimitri finds himself missing his presence wherever he goes. 

And Felix doesn't even _like_ him.

Unlocking the door to their room with a resigned sigh, Dimitri allows it to close on its own. Aside from the new tray of what formerly seems to have held food, the place looks no different than before, Felix laid back on the bed, his attention fixed on his phone.

"Took your damn time, boar."

"Sorry," he mutters, pulling off his suit jacket to hang up. "It ended up running a bit later than I expected it to."

Rolling up his sleeves, he slowly pulls off his bowtie, undoing the two top buttons when he catches Felix's gaze. 

"I'll make it up to you… somehow," he says, quietly enough where he can almost tell himself that he isn't thinking about getting on all fours, unzipping his trousers, and--

"Right," Felix mutters, annoyance painfully obvious from his tone alone.

Well. He deserves at least that much punishment for leaving him here all day, Dimitri moving to sit at the edge of the bed.

"I assume you've eaten."

Dimitri nods.

"I think I'll just take a shower," he says, refusing to look at Felix. 

"You took one this morning."

His smile is wry. "I probably don't smell all too pleasant right now. I'd hate for you to have to sleep beside me like this." It's a blatant excuse, one that Felix thankfully doesn't call him out on. It also reminds him all too keenly of the fact that he'll be sleeping beside Felix tonight. Again.

Pulling off his shoes, he waits until he's in the bathroom to tug off the rest of his clothes, carefully folding them to set aside. He has half the mind to try getting off in the shower again, if only to prevent his waking up with a boner again, but in the end, guilt wins out. He's spent enough time away from Felix already. 

Stepping out of the shower to grab a towel, he stops.

The wastebasket was… empty this morning, wasn't it? So many tissues-- an undeniable sense of dread comes over him as he hurriedly wraps the towel around his waist to step out, still dripping. 

"Felix," he starts, suddenly unsure. "Were you… crying today?" 

A beat passes between them.

"What."

"There are a lot of tissues in the bathroom."

Another beat. Then another. 

"No, I didn't cry. Go away." Slowly but surely, Felix's cheeks change color, pink turning crimson. "Stop looking at other people's tissues."

Looking back, he frowns. "What other purpose for tissues is th--" He freezes. His eyes go wide. "Oh." He stops, swallows. " _Oh_."

If it's possible, Felix turns redder. 

"You--" he starts. Stops. "... do you do that… sort of thing... often?"

"That's none of your business," Felix snaps, glaring at the floor. "It's-- normal. To do that."

His own mind jumps back to his time in the shower that morning, his stomach flipping nervously. He has to tread carefully with Felix, that much is certain. "... I suppose." A beat. "Though I imagine it depends on how often one decides to…"

"It's not like I do it all the time!" Felix looks mortified. 

Then again, there were a fair amount of tissues in the bathroom. 

"So, ah… just… here?"

The room falls silent.

"Was it just... the atmosphere of the room?" he adds instead of what he really wants to say: _Was it because of me?_

"Wh-- no! it's not like I was rock hard yesterday, now was I?"

"I--" He hesitates. Licks his lips. Inside his ribcage he can feel his heart pounding as he stares at Felix. "I wouldn't know."

Felix glowers in his general direction. 

"I wouldn't blame you if it was the room," Dimitri continues, voice quiet. "I mean, there was… free… adult… entertainment." He clears his throat, nodding toward the television.

"Fuck, only you'd call it something like that."

"What kind?" he asks before he can think better of it, his grip on the towel tightening. 

" _What_?"

"What kind do you..." He nods toward the television. "... watch."

The color is slowly seeping up to the tips of Felix's ears. "What kind of question is that?" When Dimitri doesn't answer, he continues, ducking his head. "The… normal… kind. Obviously." A beat. "Heterosexual."

Dimitri blinks. "Heterosexual?"

He can practically see the gears turning in Felix's head as he takes several quiet, measured steps toward the bed. "And, ah-- lesbians. And it's none of your business, in case you didn't know."

"Ah." Another step. Close enough now. "You know," he starts, reaching for the remote on the bed, "I could just… check the viewing history."

Recognition dawns quickly in Felix's eyes as they go wide. "You wouldn't dare--"

He makes a swipe for it, lunging toward Dimitri as he sweeps it up into the air and out of reach, back, far enough that he has to switch hands, the towel slipping as Felix lunges a second time.

They fall off the bed in a tumble together, Dimitri landing on the remote as Felix lands on top of him, the television turning on instantly. 

For just a moment, Felix looks terrified, both of their gazes torn toward the screen. 

The two people fucking on it are far from lesbians-- they're men. One of them is smaller than the other-- dark, long hair. The other almost looks a bit… like him. 

The moaning is feverish, Felix turning yet a brighter shade of red. 

"Felix--"

"Shut _up_!" he hisses. And then, shortly after-- "Fucking turn it off!"

Dimitri shifts just far enough to lift his shoulder off the remote. It's also just far enough to notice something else, Dimitri staring at Felix as the screen flickers back to black. 

"Felix," he whispers, heart in his throat. 

"I don't know what you expected when you turned on porn; It's not my fault you're so--"

He doesn't let Felix finish his sentence, instead grabbing him by the front of his shirt and dragging him into a kiss, desperate and frenzied and all but pleading with Felix not to take it away from him.

And he doesn't: instead, he kisses him back, meeting Dimitri halfway as he grinds against his leg, his own pressing between Dimitri's. 

_That's right,_ he thinks. _I'm just as hard as you, Felix._

As if able to hear him, Felix allows his hand to slip down his front to cup him through the towel for all of two seconds before tearing it away. 

"Unfair," Dimitri whispers, hips bucking up into Felix's hand. "You're still dressed."

Drawing back, it quickly becomes clear that Felix has taken his words as a challenge. His hands make quick work of his shirt, tossing it aside before shoving down his underwear, Dimitri watching his dick spring free.

He's staring, he realizes a moment later. "Felix, might I--"

"Bed," Felix mutters, pulling himself up and onto the bed, Dimitri quick to follow, eager to steal another kiss from his lips.. 

He's addicted, he thinks. How else could he possibly explain the desperation he feels? To taste him, feel him. To never stop kissing him. 

They're going to have to talk about this more later, but for now-- he shimmies down Felix's body, his cock every bit as delicious as he imagined it to look. 

He starts with a kiss, gradually daring to use tongue, to take the head into his mouth with a groan. 

His own sounds mirror Felix's, he finds a moment later, listening closely for the soft pants and moans leaving him. The fingers that wind their way into his hair feel like a gift in and of themselves, Dimitri moaning as he allows Felix to guide him a bit, to show him what he needs.

"If you make me come," Felix pants, hips bucking up as if hoping to bury himself in Dimitri's throat, "I'm not letting you fuck me tonight."

Dimitri stills around his cock, eyes wide as he looks up at him. 

Felix… would let him…

Pulling off of him, he shakes his head. "Felix, you'd-- you'd allow me to--"

The red that had dissipated somewhat returns to Felix's face in an instant as he turns to look away. 

"It's not like I haven't-- like I didn't--" A beat. "If you ask again, I'm taking it back."

He's… smiling, he realizes a moment later, Dimitri leaning down to press a kiss to the underside of Felix's cock. "Thank you, Felix."

"Don't push it."

The smile widens as he kisses a slow path back up his body to kiss him properly, the hand not busy supporting him on the bed reaching up for one of the lubricants. "We'll need this, I think."

"More than one bottle, probably," Felix mutters, his hand wrapping around Dimitri's cock. 

His gasp is involuntary, not that the buck of his hips is any better.

"Here," Felix says, grabbing another bottle to hand to him. "Finger my ass."

Oh. They're… really doing this. 

Dimitri sits back to watch as Felix gets on all fours, knees spread wide to leave him open. 

Squeezing some of the lubricant on his finger, Dimitri hesitates for just a few moments before Felix lets out a groan. "What are you waiting for? Put that in me already."

Pushing aside his shame, Dimitri decides to try it, slowly easing one finger in. "Like-- like this?"

"Yes-- fuck, don't stop now, just-- fuck me with it."

Unlike Felix, he's never watched gay pornography before, so he decides to trust him to the best of his ability, swallowing hard as he starts throwing his finger in and out of him. Slow, steady.

"Add another one, I can take it."

"Felix," he says, voice soft. "We should allow you to adjust to one first. I hardly think--"

Reaching behind him, Felix grabs hold of Dimitri's wrist. "You think this is the first time I've had something up my ass? I have--" His cheeks redden again. "-- toys."

"Oh," Dimitri whispers, unsure why he feels so incredibly relieved that it's toys that have been up there before-- toys instead of other people. 

People who aren't him. 

He adds a second finger. 

"Fuck," Felix groans, moving his ass back onto his fingers as if to fuck himself on them. "Don't-- don't go easy on me; I can take it."

Clearly he can. Swallowing hard, Dimitri grabs hold of Felix's hip, a third finger pressing inside of him. "Like that...?"

" _Fuck_ , ngh--" 

He decides to take it as a yes, starting to thrust harder, faster than he dared to go earlier. 

"You're so," he hears himself say, an unexpected lump suddenly in his throat, " _beautiful_."

The noise that leaves Felix borders on unintelligible, half a whine stitched into something resembling sound. Dimitri isn't even sure if it's meant to be an assent or a complaint, but he decides that he doesn't care. Felix deserves to be called beautiful. 

Then--

"K-keep going," he gasps. "Add another finger, add your tongue, I don't care, whatever you need to do to fit that monster cock of yours in me."

It's Dimitri's turn to flush. "Tongue," he mutters hotly, easing a fourth finger inside of him. "A-are you certain?"

"The lube is flavored, it shouldn't taste bad."

"Wait," he says, his eyes going wide as a realization hits him. "I saw something in the bathroom--" 

Withdrawing his fingers, he rushes to check again. He was so certain it was around the jacuzzi tub-- 

His face lights up as he finds it, grabbing hold of the small bottle of vanilla numbing lubricant. It strikes him as he turns around to head back into the main room that they'll be able to take a bath after this. Together. Like a… couple. 

"Felix," he continues as he returns to the bed, breaking the seal on the lubricant, "I do hope we're agreed to having a longer conversation about… _us_ when we're not both hard."

"Is that what you went into the bathroom to find?" Felix snaps, Dimitri's grin widening as gets back on the bed behind him. "Sure took your sweet time in there."

"Hardly," he says, squirting some of the lubricant out onto his fingers to start pressing inside of Felix. 

"What is that?"

"Well, other than making you taste like a strawberry vanilla sundae, it's going to tingle."

Give me that," Felix orders, gesturing for Dimitri to hand him the bottle. 

"Numbing--" 

He doesn't let him finish the thought, Dimitri grabbing hold of his hips to lean in and press his tongue inside. Even if his tongue goes a little numb, it'll be a worthwhile price to pay in exchange for making Felix feel good.

And he does seem to feel good, Felix momentarily reduced to nothing more than gasps and moans, bucking his hips back in an effort to be granted more friction. 

Feeling generous, Dimitri decides to fulfill his wish, pressing three fingers back inside of him as he gets up on his knees to stroke his cock. "You want me to… um…" _Put it in_ , his tongue refuses to spit out. 

"A-ah, no, just--" Pulling forward and off of his fingers, he shakes his head. "Lie down. On your back."

He's not about to contest Felix's urging, Dimitri allowing himself to be eased back. "What are we doing?"

"You're not doing anything right now except for lying back and watching."

"I get to look at you?"

Felix falters, his expression crumbling somewhat as a fresh flush steals its way across his features once more. "No."

Dimitri knows fully well he couldn't possibly mean it, not when he swings his leg over his waist, lines himself up, and starts sliding down his length. Judging by the look on his face alone, it's no mean feat, Felix gritting his teeth as he groans. "Too big for your own good," he mutters, Dimitri reaching up to cradle his cheek in his hand. 

Even just the few millimeters he's been able to offer him so far feel exquisite, Dimitri fighting the urge to just thrust in. 

"You feel _perfect_ , Felix."

"You're not even _in me_ yet."

"Even so."

He means it. Felix _does_ feel perfect, warm and wet and tight around him. 

Felix's head falls back as he takes more of him in, hissing as he pauses again. 

"Felix, if it's just not possible—"

"Shut! Up! Don't you _dare_ try to dissuade me. I've waited way too fucking long for this--"

The head slips in the next second, Felix gasping sharply to match Dimitri's own groan. It's almost enough to distract him from his words just now-- but only almost. 

"F-Felix," he gasps, trying to focus as Felix keeps taking more of him inside-- almost as if he's doing it on purpose to distract Dimitri, "you-- how long--?"

Closing the distance between his body and Dimitri's hips, Felix whimpers again, this one more out of seeming satisfaction than the pain of having to adjust to his size. "Don't-- ask-- stupid-- questions--"

He doesn't allow Dimitri to recover his senses before starting on a slow rhythm, clearly still adjusting to his size while he moves. Up, down-- the bob of his cock, weeping precome, the expression on his face, the bounce of his hair-- all of him is mesmerizing, Dimitri realizes. 

Wrapping a hand around his length to stroke him earns Dimitri a moan-- and then another, and another as Felix loses his rhythm. 

Dimitri decides to take the opportunity. 

Rolling them both over, he grabs hold of Felix's hip, hitching his leg up higher as he starts thrusting in earnest, eager to take him and feel him on his own terms. 

"I'm sorry," he gasps, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. "I'm sorry it took me so long to realize--"

"Stupid boar," Felix whispers, a whimper leaving him as he turns his head into the pillow as if in attempt to hide. "There was-- nothing to r-realize--"

"I love you," he whispers, resting his forehead to Felix's as he wraps his hand around his length anew. "I do, I really--"

Felix's grip on him tightens first, his body second as his orgasm runs through him and spills his release between them. 

He's not sure how he could possibly stop himself from losing control in wake of it all. The look on Felix's face, the noises leaving him, the clenching around his cock-- he only manages two more thrusts before coming himself, deep inside of Felix. 

His spurts continue long past the point that he thinks he's done, Dimitri clinging to Felix as his hips twitch and jerk with his release. A groan escapes him, loud and low. 

"I really love you," he whispers, finishing his earlier sentence as he cups Felix's cheeks. "And I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," Felix mutters, turning to face away from him, cheeks still tinged a rosy shade of red. "I didn't-- I didn't say anything."

He's not wrong about that. If anything, Felix did his best to actively avoid him-- while opting for insulting him whenever avoiding him wasn't possible. He's not sure how he could have known about Felix's feelings. 

Pressing a soft kiss to Felix's cheek, he smiles. "You know, I'm almost… happy we got this room now."

"Why, because we have another week to try out all the other lube flavors?"

His smile widens, mirroring Felix's own. It's shy and a little coy, but Dimitri thinks it's the first time he's seen him smile around him in a long time. 

"Yeah," he whispers, stealing another kiss from him. "Exactly that."

**Author's Note:**

> I did a _lot_ of research for this fic, and can absolutely confirm that, not only is every room mentioned in this based on a real love hotel room that I found, but all the details herein are _also_ accurate to love hotels.
> 
> Come talk to me about dimilix over on [twitter](https://www.twitter.com/androugenius)!! :D


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